block

there are days.  all sorts.  this is one of them.

today i am stuck.  there are no proper words to write about the zillion things i must before the 9th of december.  yesterday i was creative.  i was steady.  i worked for 7 hours straight, and completed something.  i was rashly productive.  today i am dry and distracted and want to eat an entire loaf of bread chased by a pot of coffee.  i want to sleep or watch simpering movies or do both at once or neither at all.

i wonder if this is the day i ran out of something to say?

so i'm afraid.  i'm afraid this day's failure is the result of all past failures and the harbinger of all future failures.  and i am faced with several options:  do i accept the days failures and write them off as part of the process?  do i let this day's failures be the root of tomorrow's?  do i allow the fear to consume me?  do i keep forging ahead in the remainder hours of the day?  do i just let it be for the day and call tomorrow a new day?  i'm fairly certain letting this day ruin the rest of them is a bad idea, however, this is the option that seems inevitable today.  so, instead, i'm trying to face the fear.  call it what it is, and hopefully move forward.  tomorrow.

because i fear today is lost.