"the i hate dating book's dating book" (or why i wrote this one when there are a zillion more just like it on the shelf at your local bookstore)

so yesterday at lunch my “wednesday” friends decided we should write a book about singleness (blah, blah, blah). not your typical run of the mill kind of singleness book that tells you to “suck it up and bear your singleness because it must be GOD’s will!” and “maybe GOD *wants* you to marry an ugly man!” (read "passion and purity" for this dose--ick!) we were thinking of a grittier approach to the whole thing that deals will real women having real emotions (that the aforementioned real women are really afraid to admit). so here are the chapter titles we’ve brainstormed. love some feedback:

just smile!  (wink, wink, wink)
yes, i'll marry you...now change your name
always the big sister, never the bride
enough with the blue bubble gum--i’d like the chocolate factory now
all i want is one missionary!  is that too much to ask?
what!  do i have a third eye?
but i'm a good catch!
when the only one was the wrong one (seven years in tibet)
have fins.  willing to fly.
man you're hot! (oh, and it's warm in here too)
“i will praise Thee for i am fearfully and wonderfully made” (and that doesn’t just mean my brain)

(we wrote all these out on a napkin that had been used to wipe my lipstick stained mouth--we’re tossing about the idea of calling it “thinking napkin publications”.)