of hems and dancing

have you ever tried to view life from the inside of your closet? in there the meaning of life has something to do with hems. i have found my closet to be a solitary place of chat with the LORD, and last night, that’s where i ended up. we didn’t discuss my need to clean the closet, organize my shoes, or fix the hem of that skirt i’ve been ignoring, although those are definitely topics we will revisit. no, last night i went in there thinking i would give the LORD a little piece of my mind, and i came out with a little peace of His. there was a point in my prayer where i felt the need to shut up--something i think the LORD would like to hear from me more often--so i curled up in the corner of my clothes cave and just got soul-silent. i found it trying to silence my thots, then once that was accomplished, i drifted off to sleep (i actually considered staying there all nite because it was so warm and cozy). not going real well at this point right? that’s what i thot. i don’t know how long i was in this state (it’s weird how all conscious time stands still), but at some point i figured GOD must have chosen to be quiet too. i broke the silence with the words: “LORD, i’ve been so careful...” and then the rain began to fall in great sloppy drops. i heard: “and that is precisely the problem erin.” wait a minute, that’s not at all what i expected! i thot careful was good. i thot careful was reverent. i thot careful was godly. (all to be said in tones of piety) “don’t be careful!” the silence said, “i’m sick of your timidity! i’ve had enough, and things are going to change starting now: i’m careful so you can be carefree. go!” and then there was a great deluge of remembering: joshua boldly blocking the sun and moon, moses demanding a fulfilled promise, peter requesting a water walk, elijah calling up a great storm, elisha demanding GOD’s presence at the whisking away of elijah, david joy-dancing for the return of lost glory, gideon confirming the wet fleece, and a thousand unnamed beggars, lepers, children, blind men, cripples, hungry, hurting, and lost. all abandoning carefulness for the reckless faith that made them whole. and throwing caution to the wind, i went. not very carefully i might add, but with utter abandon. so when i left the closet, i was afraid. no longer afraid that GOD won’t answer my prayers, but afraid that He will. this is not terror, but carefree in the hope that GOD is more likely to answer than not. (after which we might revisit dancing)