post production blues

i do not like post production work:
the wrap-up that makes me feel like a failure.

because i am an avoider, when a task is finished i like to be done and
then avoid all memory of it. the problem is that when i'm in the middle
of something the avoider thing still holds true.

so, i'm pretty much in a cycle of avoiding everything by living in my
own fantasy where someone else will face all the hard stuff for me, and
i can sit by and imagine what it would be like to have the courage to
face all the hard stuff.....blah, blah, blah

ok, back to work.