“no doubt, if we’d had our minds on our job when we were at the ruinous city, we’d have been shown how--found a little door, or a cave, or a tunnel, met someone to help us. might have been (you never know) Aslan himself. we’d have got down under those paving-stones somehow or other. Aslan’s instructions always work: there are no exceptions.”

--the silver chair

i’ve been reading james of late--such a vast book for only five chapters. chapter four has been on my mind perpetually. i tend to skip past the first few verses to get to “you have not because you ask not.” i park there, try to “work it out,” and then get upset with GOD because He seems to break His promise in my circumstance. i decide there is no way i am “asking amiss” to “consume it upon my lusts.” after all, i’m not lusting after anything....right? so, where does the warring come from? from my desire for my own way. from wanting what i don’t currently have. and what does that lead to? asking amiss. so, maybe the thing i pray for isn’t wrong, but could the thing i want be my last ditch effort to escape from the thing that i really am “consuming upon my lusts?” possibly. definitely in my circumstance. my mom always says that God has to peel away the layers in order to get to the heart of the issue (see dragon-eustace having his scales torn away until he emerges a tender peeled switch). when God’s working on the current one, we forget about the numerous layers beneath, and how the outside one is not the ultimate issue, but merely a symptom of an overall dragon-problem.

“but He gives more grace”