(καιρος) the right moment

confession: i haven’t been reading my Bible. it’s been a few weeks. i’m trying to come up with a clever way to make an excuse, and i keep typing sentences only to delete them. (just did it again) it’s not that i haven’t tried, and it’s not that i don’t want to, it’s just that the last six months have been the Christian walk on speed, and i’m weary. tom bombadil and i have been chillin in the front parlor with tea and bread, and my finely tuned ear for the black riders has grown dull. so, i started fresh. the siren call of job lured me in (hmm, i wonder WHO’s voice that was). right now i’m on the slow journey of trying to process it all, but here’s the tea and bread for the day: “when i speak up, i feel no better, if i say nothing, that doesn’t help either. i feel worn down.” (job 16:6) yep, that’s all. i could rant and rave at the LORD for turning me out the front door on an adventure-road that seems to lead nowhere: wouldn’t help. i could completely break down, say my last words to GOD and walk out: wouldn’t help. hey, i could just skip the last words: still wouldn’t help. so, worn down, i sit here not feeling how i feel.

you know what i remember from the nite at tom and goldenberry bombadil’s? it wasn’t just one nite. the adventurers didn’t know how long they were there. they just rested....and waited. kairos.

two hands

here's what my two hands did this last week.

reduce.
reuse.
recycle.

what a lovely idea.

revelry of orange

the bracelet has returned of almost a week and a half ago.

this time for celebrating so many fresh things:

orange hair.
two hands.
green eyes.
safety.
courage.
green hope.

"behold i make all things new...."

midnight wanderings

me and my silver torch.

last nite we had a little chat about some hard things, but there was a breakthrough. i want to be on this journey of faith. i want to be on it even if it means deep hurt. i want to be on it even if it isn't safe. i miss the journey. i've been resting in the house of tom bombadil for a few days, and now it is time to face the barrow-wight.

do adventures ever have an end?

i hope not.

hello....goodbye

"come, and trip it, as you go,
on the light fantastick toe..."

via milton

(sans phone, sans cash, sans planning)

now lie in it

if i make my bed in hell

GOD is there.

leading me and holding me with his right hand.

in memorium: reginald phillips 1914-1988
(for listening to all of my moanings which cannot be uttered last nite)

satisfaction

i will no longer be satisfied with scraps.

i want the feast, or none at all.

"o woman, great is your faith! let it be to you as you desire."
matthew 15:28

psalm 20

may the LORD answer you in the day of trouble;
may the name of the God of jacob defend you;
may He send you help from the sanctuary,
and strengthen you out of zion;
may He remember all your offerings,
and accept your burnt sacrifice. selah

may He grant you according to your heart's desire,
and fulfill all your purpose.
we will rejoice in your salvation,
and in the name of our God we will set up our banners!
may the LORD fulfill all your petitions.

now I know that the LORD saves His anointed;
He will answer him from His holy heaven
with the saving strength of His right hand.

some trust in chariots, and some in horses;
but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.
they have bowed down and fallen;
but we have risen and stand upright.

save, LORD!
may the King answer us when we call.

faith fighting

"you will not need to fight in this battle. position yourselves, stand
still and see the salvation of the LORD, who is with you...do not fear
or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the LORD is with
you."

and then they sing.

and in that faith the enemy is routed.

"praise the LORD, for His mercy endures forever!"

2 chronicles 20

shout out ii

the fun is over.

grant wickensimer rocks.

(no more shouting people)

shout out

grant wickensiemer rocks!

whispered wanderings

as of late, i have found myself wandering about in the near woods after the dark descends. this usually involves the old pair of jeans with the pocket on the leg, my worn out red tennis shoes, a hooded jacket, and an old stainless steel flashlight that my parents bought me when i was seven (which goes into the aforementioned pocket). tonite it came in handy for avoiding the downed power-line. although, there was a lovely moon, and i probably could have done without the torch. up at my front door i heard the gurggling water from the creek below in counterpoint to the frogs that called to one another. i don't know what it is about sitting in the almost too cold glow of the disk of starry-silverness that makes the woods turn magic, but i can faintly see the will o' the wisps giggle down the trail at the invocation of the faerie-pipes. on silvery nites like this, i believe anything is possible. nothing seems too big for the GOD of heaven when you are swallowed by the silvery-green smell, the giant moon-disk above, and the embrace of the weeping trees. tonite we whispered. there would be no spell breaking. so we whispered and then we laughed (quietly so as not to disrupt the will o' the wisps). and He whispered back: "nothing is impossible to him who believes." and i am sure of what i heard.

cloud of witnesses

the faith of generations assist

heb 11:39-40

plot

have you ever geotracked anyone?

fun, fun....

deus ex machina

i'm guilty of praying for quail. i think the Heavenly Storyteller likes a good story, and not one that finishes with a jolting deus ex machina. a finely crafted story with twists and turns makes for much better reading than one where God pretends He's a deist, and finally when His people can do no more He swoops in for the rescue. first of all, i can't do anything on this journey. francis shaeffer talks about a moment by moment faith (the same faith of justification) that leads to glorious sanctification based on nothing but Christ's "it is finished." so every step on this journey is by this 5 year old faith in a finished work. no diest-god here. secondly, when i start to pray for deus ex quail, i'm denying a personal GOD. i put my faith in a god who ignores my cries for help while he sacks out on the couch showing up at the last minute to drop quail in three foot piles. oh, and what was your name again?

so when i have moments of quail-wishing, expecting GOD to ignore me, i must flee to the personal, present GOD of the universe who's pillar of fire has never left me for a moment. sans deus ex machina...