pray about this will you?
i am in desperate need of clarity.
(the angst is caused in part because i am this.)
9.29.2006
9.22.2006
true love
heard from my office mate before tossing a book about finding one's
"true love" entitled "when dreams come true" on her desk:
"discover a love worth waiting for? i don't need to discover love. GOD
already loves me, and i don't have to wait for that!"
9.15.2006
9.14.2006
overheard at the tail end of a conversation whilst sitting in atlanta bread company
10 feet from me: a 20 something girl said: "tell me when you *ever* spent time with us? and i'm not talking about coming to a soccer game. i don't care about the soccer games. when did you ever spend *time* with us?" and the 50 something male responded: "well, what do you want me to do." response: "that's not the point dad and you know it...i felt like all you ever cared about was just paying the bills."
and they left.
and they left.
9.06.2006
identity crisis?
"it's hair. it will grow back."
-wonder woman
finally, wonder woman and i have something in common. we're both going undercover to apprehend our identities.
-wonder woman
finally, wonder woman and i have something in common. we're both going undercover to apprehend our identities.
8.31.2006
(temporarily) lost and (eternally) found
i can't say i've ever thoughtfully considered the Body of Christ analogy, but several events of late have caused me to wonder at its elegance. one being an ongoing situation at my place of employment (yes, being cryptic on purpose), another being my obsession with hebrews 11 and 12 (11:39-40 in specific), and finally an unexpected (but oddly anticipated) phone call from a friend. i am amazed at how GOD works wonders in my life: He shows me a principle and then begins to reveal it's ramifications (both negative and positive). the harmony of the whole process makes my soul sing.
the principle: hebrews 11/12. this witness-cloud you see forming in the distance is cheering us on in faith. our faiths are made complete in each other thru the axis of Christ. the Body: all of us from adam to eternity! we are all currently and eternally in the Body of Christ. in every generation a new Body is not formed. nope, we're all there in one (pardon the expression) gigantic eternity-bound Body (that i like to imagine is never on a diet). so you, me, my grandmother, abraham and adam are all there. the cloud just keeps growing.
the ramifications: negative and positive. in the aforementioned cryptic situation i am reminded of how often the hand cuts the arm of the Body (but i digress). i can remember feeling pious in high school when i discovered the verses on the Body of Christ. the ones about how every part is needed, even the "uncomely parts." *especially* the uncomely parts (i think i fancied myself one of those--i've now come to believe i'm an eyebrow hair or some such nonsense). i realized on some level that every part was important, and we should all appreciate what each of us does in "service to the LORD" (read with reverberation). which brings me back to the arm cutting: when i choose to disrespect a fellow believer (note: i did not say disagree or lovingly truth-speak in order to restore) by making a mockery of him so as to make myself look better, i'm the cutter. i'm "dissin" the body. everybody from abraham to my grandmother. but here's where the healing enters. yesterday an old friend of the dearest kind called. we spoke of life and liberty and best of all our Savior-friend. of loss and perfect sight and miracles and willy wonka. there was no Body loathing that resulted in closet cutting (although there have been times when truth was lovingly
delivered to restore) just the reminder that there is no lost, only an eternally found. and this, i suspect, is the Body at peak performance.
the principle: hebrews 11/12. this witness-cloud you see forming in the distance is cheering us on in faith. our faiths are made complete in each other thru the axis of Christ. the Body: all of us from adam to eternity! we are all currently and eternally in the Body of Christ. in every generation a new Body is not formed. nope, we're all there in one (pardon the expression) gigantic eternity-bound Body (that i like to imagine is never on a diet). so you, me, my grandmother, abraham and adam are all there. the cloud just keeps growing.
the ramifications: negative and positive. in the aforementioned cryptic situation i am reminded of how often the hand cuts the arm of the Body (but i digress). i can remember feeling pious in high school when i discovered the verses on the Body of Christ. the ones about how every part is needed, even the "uncomely parts." *especially* the uncomely parts (i think i fancied myself one of those--i've now come to believe i'm an eyebrow hair or some such nonsense). i realized on some level that every part was important, and we should all appreciate what each of us does in "service to the LORD" (read with reverberation). which brings me back to the arm cutting: when i choose to disrespect a fellow believer (note: i did not say disagree or lovingly truth-speak in order to restore) by making a mockery of him so as to make myself look better, i'm the cutter. i'm "dissin" the body. everybody from abraham to my grandmother. but here's where the healing enters. yesterday an old friend of the dearest kind called. we spoke of life and liberty and best of all our Savior-friend. of loss and perfect sight and miracles and willy wonka. there was no Body loathing that resulted in closet cutting (although there have been times when truth was lovingly
delivered to restore) just the reminder that there is no lost, only an eternally found. and this, i suspect, is the Body at peak performance.
8.30.2006
the mystery which truly was no mystery
all it needed was water, light and love...presto!
thanks adam for the mystery message plant.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me:
Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.
thanks adam for the mystery message plant.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me:
Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.
8.28.2006
words pressed btwn. pages of white
1. One book that changed your life:
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
any book i've enjoyed, but in order to not sound terribly predictable (ad nauseum): Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty
3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
The Chronicles of Narnia with copius footnotes from The Message Remix
4. One book that made you laugh:
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Anne Lamont)
5. One book that made you cry:
Alan Paton's Cry the Beloved Country (every time i read it)
6. One book that you wish had been written:
The Chronicles of Narnia with copius footnotes from The Message Remix or The Message Remix with copius footnotes from The Chronicles of Narnia
7. One book you wish had never been written:
Madame Bovary (yes, i *actually* finished it--there really is no need for this mess.)
8. One book you’re currently reading:
A. Scott Berg's Lindbergh
9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
Catching Light, Finding GOD in the Movies
10. Now tag five people:
justy
josh
caleb
cheryl
michele
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
2. One book that you’ve read more than once:
any book i've enjoyed, but in order to not sound terribly predictable (ad nauseum): Wendy Shalit's A Return to Modesty
3. One book you’d want on a desert island:
The Chronicles of Narnia with copius footnotes from The Message Remix
4. One book that made you laugh:
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life (Anne Lamont)
5. One book that made you cry:
Alan Paton's Cry the Beloved Country (every time i read it)
6. One book that you wish had been written:
The Chronicles of Narnia with copius footnotes from The Message Remix or The Message Remix with copius footnotes from The Chronicles of Narnia
7. One book you wish had never been written:
Madame Bovary (yes, i *actually* finished it--there really is no need for this mess.)
8. One book you’re currently reading:
A. Scott Berg's Lindbergh
9. One book you’ve been meaning to read:
Catching Light, Finding GOD in the Movies
10. Now tag five people:
justy
josh
caleb
cheryl
michele
8.23.2006
what i did on summer vacation:
there are several accounts that are standard fare for vbs Bible story time: zaccheus and the tree, philip and the ethiopian, abraham and the potential isaac slaying, and noah's ark. whilst the kids and i were sloshing around in that big old boat with noah and all those animals, i couldn't help but think of the similarity of the ark and the cross. GOD used the ark to rescue His chosen people from a worldwide flood. He used the cross to rescue His chosen people from eternal damnation. you have to love the symetry of that! something else came to light in the midst of all this thought that i love even more. GOD's instructions deemed that the ark be a certain size. He obviously knew how many animals would have to be brought on the ark and how much room they would occupy, so the ark could have been *exactly* the right size. but it wasn't. it was too big! not just "we could put another animal there mrs. noah" too big, but "did i forget my other menagerie mrs. noah" too big! GOD provided a 120 year sermon with object lesson for noah's observers. He could have wiped them all out without warning or wooing, but instead there was this enormous gopher wood box that had the foreshadowing of "cross" written all over it. by faith noah...built a boat sans sight, became an object lesson for every generation, and as a result: "became intimate with GOD."
where do i sign up.
where do i sign up.
7.14.2006
chairs 2
along with all the reading, television watching, and relaxing i throw myself at in the summer, here are a few other things i'm working on:
this is a chair i purchased at goodwill for $10.96 that was a horrible shade of antiqued green and brown. it was screaming for this shade of blue. my sister saw it and asked if she could taste it. the color is positively drinkable.
this looks like a chair with a story doesn't it? yes, the pattern is quite outdated, but it's the one i chose almost 25 years ago. (i couldn't resist the little farming people--i remember that vividly!) the chair belonged to my grandmother, and it originally sat in her little consignment shop in the sticks, oklahoma. i don't remember the previous pattern, but one summer when i, my brother and my cousins were there for our annual 2 week visit, mammaw took me to the fabric store to pick out the pattern (maybe she had a vision of my future-she also bought me minature baking pans one Christmas). she told me then that someday i could have the chair. so, 25 years later the chair is in serious want of an update. the new fabric is purchased (although i'm not as committed to it as i was a year ago) and now i'm waiting for the nerve to strike.
this is a chair i purchased at goodwill for $10.96 that was a horrible shade of antiqued green and brown. it was screaming for this shade of blue. my sister saw it and asked if she could taste it. the color is positively drinkable.
this looks like a chair with a story doesn't it? yes, the pattern is quite outdated, but it's the one i chose almost 25 years ago. (i couldn't resist the little farming people--i remember that vividly!) the chair belonged to my grandmother, and it originally sat in her little consignment shop in the sticks, oklahoma. i don't remember the previous pattern, but one summer when i, my brother and my cousins were there for our annual 2 week visit, mammaw took me to the fabric store to pick out the pattern (maybe she had a vision of my future-she also bought me minature baking pans one Christmas). she told me then that someday i could have the chair. so, 25 years later the chair is in serious want of an update. the new fabric is purchased (although i'm not as committed to it as i was a year ago) and now i'm waiting for the nerve to strike.
7.11.2006
foodies
for those that are dairy free (or are thinking of going dairy free--it will change your life--you know who you are) try this site. there are some great substitutions for things like heavy cream and buttermilk (although nothing can ever replicate smoked brie or denny's moons over my hammy or a pumpkin vanilla shake or....ahh!).
also, i've come across this blog as well. although i don't participate in the gluten free lifestyle, this woman is terribly entertaining. she photographs her food and weaves the recipie into her recent excusions. very entertaining.
also, i've come across this blog as well. although i don't participate in the gluten free lifestyle, this woman is terribly entertaining. she photographs her food and weaves the recipie into her recent excusions. very entertaining.
7.09.2006
who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
my greatest fear:
forgetting and not forgetting.
"you're going to think to yourselves, 'oh! we're outnumbered ten to one by these nations! we'll never even make a dent in them!' but I'm telling you, don't be afraid. remember, yes, remember in detail what God, your God, did to pharaoh and all egypt. remember the great contests to which you were eyewitnesses: the miracle-signs, the wonders, God's mighty hand as he stretched out his arm and took you out of there. God, your God, is going to do the same thing to these people you're now so afraid of."
deuteronomy 7:17
"forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. be alert, be present. i'm about to do something brand-new. it's bursting out! don't you see it? there it is! i'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."
isaiah 43
(while visions of habakkuk danced in her head)
so, what are you afraid of?
forgetting and not forgetting.
"you're going to think to yourselves, 'oh! we're outnumbered ten to one by these nations! we'll never even make a dent in them!' but I'm telling you, don't be afraid. remember, yes, remember in detail what God, your God, did to pharaoh and all egypt. remember the great contests to which you were eyewitnesses: the miracle-signs, the wonders, God's mighty hand as he stretched out his arm and took you out of there. God, your God, is going to do the same thing to these people you're now so afraid of."
deuteronomy 7:17
"forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. be alert, be present. i'm about to do something brand-new. it's bursting out! don't you see it? there it is! i'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."
isaiah 43
(while visions of habakkuk danced in her head)
so, what are you afraid of?
7.01.2006
confession is not (always) good for the soul
as you know i’ve been sleuthing about with the spirited mme ramotswe of the no. 1 ladies’ detective agency on zebra drive in the hauntingly beautiful country of botswana. i didn’t expect the LORD to reveal Himself so clearly in my fiction reading, but i must admit when He does (as He is wont to do--no surprise) i become nearly giddy. i love the idea of the unregenerate writer unwittingly exposing miraculous truth. madame detective relates a story of when she was in primary school and the head teacher was trying to catch a young thief. he makes everyone come to his office and swear on a Bible: “i am not a thief.” everyone comes in. everyone swears. the culprit is not discovered. precious ramotswe was not guilty of the theft, and so swears. but when she arrives home to tell “the daddy” and aunt of the events, she realizes that a week prior, she had eaten a doughnut that was sitting on the kitchen counter. she fears the head teacher’s promised lightening strike, and after a sleepless night, confesses the thievery. her aunt smiles and says: “but that was meant for you, that doughnut. you did not steal it.”
so maybe it’s just me, but sometimes when things go well, and the LORD gives me something (like a doughnut for example), i feel the piper paying is piping its way around the corner. that i didn’t deserve it, or maybe that i even stole it, and eventually i'll have to cough up a good deed or a confession. that maybe all this stuff about “unconditional” is just a well planned ruse to get me to steal the doughnut and then confess. but the doughnut is meant for me, and so i can’t pinch it. no confession or deed will make me any less or more worthy of the cream filled delight. my mantra today: i am not a thief--that doughnut was meant for me.
so maybe it’s just me, but sometimes when things go well, and the LORD gives me something (like a doughnut for example), i feel the piper paying is piping its way around the corner. that i didn’t deserve it, or maybe that i even stole it, and eventually i'll have to cough up a good deed or a confession. that maybe all this stuff about “unconditional” is just a well planned ruse to get me to steal the doughnut and then confess. but the doughnut is meant for me, and so i can’t pinch it. no confession or deed will make me any less or more worthy of the cream filled delight. my mantra today: i am not a thief--that doughnut was meant for me.
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